Spending My Time

It was passed 12 o'clock in the midnight when I stepped out from the office. My heart is heavy. Life was dull and seems no rison at all to go on.

Another day has gone. Another day spent filled with pains.

Who could then understand me with the way how I feel? Perhaps, nobody but me. Nobody can help except myself to stand in the middle of the fight. I must be strong to stand against the odds.

I was checking my wallet as I walk out the door. Just couple of hundred bills left and my motorcycle is running out of gasoline. I decided to run to the ATM to get some cash.

The night was cold, and good for me that I was wearing my jacket as I walked alone down to a distant ATM . The streets were empty.

As I was operating the ATM, I noticed the woman, shivering in cold just meters away from me. She was sitting at the bank entrance in folded knees as she was fighting the cold. Pity was she. No shelter. No family. No friends.

I paused for minutes looking at her. Thinking of some notions if how lucky I am for having some things other people don't have. Despite of a broken heart, still lucky enough that I wasn't living in a place like the woman does.

She doesn't say anything. She doesn't talk. She doesn't look at me. And perhaps, she wanted to exchange her life to a kind of life like I have. And that, I had lot of things learned just by looking the caricature.

Life doesn't end when your heart is broken. Lot of people would love to exchange their lives from the way we live, even though it means breaking our heart. Still I am lucky that the only hurt I have is at that from losing someone I love most. But I know. My life doesnt end there, and I will treasure it forever and a day.

I believe I am still lucky. Lucky enough to exist with family and friends. My love life may not be as beautiful like of a movie with happy ending. But I know, and I know, I have my day to smile watching the sunrise.

I'm so lucky despite. And my life doesnt end just because of the painful experiences. Still, I am complete. Nothing is lost but my love for the wrong person. Still, I got my life complete. I know, time will heal the wounds. Time will keep the pain. Maybe not now. But for sure. That day will come, and I will give a damn smile remembering these heartaches... (starting to smile).

I'm about to leave then. But thinking the woman was in cold, I took off my jacket and wrapped her. I went to a nearby fastfood and order a hot soup and brought it to her. I went back to the office and my heart was lightened.

Very simple scenario. Yet, I learned that there is still so much to live for. There are things, that no matter how you hold on to make it stay, it would still slipped away. No matter how you ignore the pain just to make it stay, it would still run away from you. But don't get lost. Learn to think that life goes on and you deserve something better...

Live your life and don't depend your happiness from others. See if who walks with you at the end of your journey. Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy.