Forgotten Piece

I don't know if this would just be a product of my own thinking. Or maybe, I know it because I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. So many things had happened. So many things I had done. So many things I had pondered out that this wouldn't be possible. All this time. Still at hardships of accepting things happening around. Still thinking of what would be the right thing to do. I'm scared, I could make some decisions I would regret in the future.

Maybe my prayers were answered. Yes I know. It was. My prayers that somehow, I'd be given a chance to fill-in the things I had forgotten to do. Maybe my prayers is heard that her heart will be touched once again that now, she's with me.

But she's not completely mine. There's a piece of her that stops her so. She told me she loves me. Enough to hear and be happy. But why can't she stick with me? Why is that she's confused of her feelings that leads of hurting me sometimes? Why can't her heart is surrendered to me? If she does, she would focus her attention back to me. Why can't she do that easy if she does? But still, I'm waiting for the time 'till she's completely mine. I won't give up. After all the pains I felt, it made me stronger to fight for her. I can accept everything, and just praying that the day, my heart wouldn't become numb before things fall to where they should be.

My mind is filled with questions. So many questions. Now, I pray that my head can't think of anything. I wanted rest. I wanted peace. I want to lay down sweetly.

There are times my mind wish to give up. But my heart never will. I know, she's holding a piece of me. I don't know what I'm saying. I don't even know what I am doing. Is this the consequence of loving much of someone? I didn't do anything. But to love, and love her in the way I know. What I am missing that we need to come to this situation? All I dream is to give her a better life in my own endeavor, like no one can even if it would mean forgetting myself and giving all to her. I am happy with what I am doing. To see her happy would be more than enough to repay all of my doings.

I just can't love alone. But why would you have the notion that I'm missing something? I hate to disagree on that but that's what you believe. Can you just give me the time to correct whatever wrong doings you think and will make right? Perhaps, there are times I'm not seeing you. But it doesn't mean I am forgetting us. Please don't close your mind. I am doing this just because of us. For what we dream on. In fact, all those times, I wonder what you are doing. What are the things lingering on your mind. I wanted to be with you. As always, I wanted to see you. But I know, this isn't the right time to do those things yet. You are on your studies and I don't want to hinder your dreams to realize it. I'm at your back, just carrying you. There would be much of our time to be with each other after passing the ladder towards the things we dream on, and I hope I would still be part of it.

I know about your dream. Fulfilling such dreams wouldn't be easy and in my absence, I want her to endeavor to catch her dreams close to her. I want you to step on me while reaching the heights of your dream. I can carry you because I dream with you.

I told you once, my love is like a wind. You cannot see me and I pray those times I'm nor around you can still feel me. In my absence, you can feel you need me.

At times I'm not with you, I do not stop loving you. I just dream with you.

But what about now? Are all our dreams gone? Or you don't just completely realized how I work hard for us? I am stepped on until broken into pieces that I could hardly find and fix myself. If only you would stay and believe in our dreams together, I wouldn't be torn. You are my strength. You are my dream. You are my everything. You are the reason why I keep going and keep on believing in our dreams. What would happen now? Would you come back and remember the forgotten piece of what we dream once? Please do because I need you much. More than you know. More of my life.

Will you give me the chance to live again? Like I won't worry anything? Will you take care of my heart? Will you find its missing pieces to form it again? Until when could I find you? Until when would I feel this way?

Life wouldn't be easy now. It's hard to dream back again now that you are not completely mine. Just your mind. Your heart. And your love.

Please stop me from feeling this way.