Until the River Runs Dry

I don't how to start everything I want to say. Still my mind is much confused with the things happening around me. I don't want this feeling anymore. Seems like, I don't know how to trust my heart again. Maybe, I'm just afraid I might get hurt when I expect much on the things happening to me now, or this would be a normal feelings after a dreamy heart was once broken and put back into pieces.

Now the most difficult part of myself now is winning back I had once given. Admittedly, I wonder if I am still living with myself. I'm not used to it. Seems there is someone deep within me ruling my mind with possibilities. But I don't care. I want to gain back they way I am before. This is no longer me. This is not myself anymore.

I was hurt several times. I had trusted inconsiderable moments. But no matter how many times I got hurt and how many times my trust was broken still, I couldn't help myself looking after her, thinking that she alone is all I need in my life. My every reason I wake up in the morning, my reason to live, and my all.

I don't know why I keep standing 'till this time. But everytime, the river runs dry, that's the time I prayed for the rain to come. Not just to hide the tears but to soften the earth from being drought.

I will love you in the way I know. I don't care if I would still be hurt next time around. At least, I tried to love you, again and again.