Unspoken Friendship, meet Ma'am Lourdes...

She was once a stranger. Then she became my bestfriend.

I don't really know how we both estrablished the good friendship. Maybe because she has everything to be the best person around. The first time I met her was never an accident but a destiny, and I'm so much glad to meet up a person as kind as her. She taught me to be a natural person. She develop more with the confidence I had. She's strong woman I always adore.

Things we come up around together was never been easy. The bond we had was unforgetable. The experiences we had is worth remembering.

I could never actually describe her. No words in my dictionary that could eventually describe her as she is. But I had already meet the most noble yet fragile person in the world. So much to be proud and be thankful of. This is one of the best things that happened to me.

My gratitude with her would be never ending. He taught me everything a good man should be. He knows perhaps every inch of me because she has good empathy.

Ma'm Lourdz, all I am today is because of you. Thanks for the time we both share together. The songs, the laughter, the tears, understanding and everything. I am strong when I am with you. You can always make me believe if who walks with us at the end of our journey. Though we are apart now, things would never change. You will still be my manager, a bestfriend, instructor, and an angel. Thanks for crossing into my life and I will treasure every perspective of the memories we shared together. Nothing will change. It there is, like you said. It would be for a better.

There's so much to write about you. But you remain like the scent of a flower in the secret garden. Unseen. Yet, it can tell the kind of its beauty.

Then Life Goes On...

Enough for heartaches. Enough for pains. I can't hold it no more.

Not a single minute I had slept last night. Rising up before the clock striked at 6 o'clock in the morning. Looking outside the window, wet grounds, swaying leaves, and seems to be a cold breeze of the winter. But everything seems no more special thing to celebrate. Of course, I will spend my day just sleeping around. Until its through. Truly a tiring hobby. So dull.

But before anything gets pissed off, still struggling for the chance. A chance to live my life normally. Not because I'm feeling some kind of uncurable disease, but hopefully it would just be like that somehow. My life seems deemed with gloomy clouds outside. Like the weather outside, it's now so much cold and has no reason at the moment. But I know, this feeling somehow pass away. Struggling for almost three months now with no hope wouldn't be that easy. I had left everything to my counselor. If there might be regrets at the end, for sure, I wouldn't be doing it. Done almost everything yet, the skies remain dark and the sun still hides at every back gloomy clouds.

My gratitude to all the people who have been helping my across this journey. For countless advice. My mama and papa. Sorry for I was hurt. I didn't mean to feel this way. You've been seeing me as strong, intellegent lad. But here I am, so weak and helpless. Somehow soon, I'll be feeling strong again and wouldn't feel this way. To ma'm Lourdes, not just a best friend, but a mother whom I always give a call whenever my heart is heavy and I wanted to cry. Thanks for the time listening my heart ma'm. To Cieto, my bestfriend, thanks for comforting me all the way. For the company and giving me a drive to wherever church I wanted to pray, even though your tired and don't have rest from work, I appreciated it much. Thanks 'ciet. This would I always carry in the deepest abyss of my heart. Until forever. To wilmer, for the back massage, Irving, for the hugs and glasses of water, Jason for the movie, John Mark for the tapping my back, and Kent for reminding my every meal. Glendel, Angelie, and Junjun, my workmates. Thank you guys. I couldn't make it to cross the stormy ocean of my life without you. I may not as strong as today, but I will. I realize how much people had love me. There's more to worth living for. A never ending thanks to everyone. Ma'm Lourdz, thanks for everything. For the love, care and understanding. I will always believe in you and would always think what we believe, if "who walks with us at the end of our journey". That would make me cry. For I know, you are one of them.

There's so much life I left to live...

'til My Heartaches End

Enough for tears to cloud up my eyes. Although I am not prepared the kind of hurt, I must feel the pain and would just wish someday, I'll be fine. Seems, I am fighting for my feelings which is no longer fighting for. My heart is weary. My eyes are dried up. I couldn't cry hard enough.

I would just keep on dreaming that she's still mine. And yes I always do. I know, sometime soon, I could realize things are never working out and I could accept what is written on the stars. I just need to dream and dream until one day, I wake up into the reality. At least, I had done my best, to carry her steps closer to her dreams. Though, I haven't bridge her to its peak, at least, just so close, I brought her.

I had learned my life to live with her. And if this would be the end of my dreams with her, perhaps not now, sooner, I could just accept. Just take care of yourself. I had done everything for you. Though it wasn't appreciated, this must be it. We will separate our ways with memories. Still, I will be living it. Not that much easy to forget the days we had. Especially that it was filled with lot of dreams. Now it was torn. I will build my dreams again. Maybe not with anyone. Because I don't want to build it again if same things of leaving will be happening again.

Lots of things I learned. Lots of things I figured out. Thanks for memories and the broken dreams...

How About Your Prayers?

Never pray on things when you can't stand the test as answers on your prayers...

Sometimes, I recall how we prayed for us. The times when we go to church together, lits some candles and pray. Things feel so right. Things seemingly fine. I do not know how you prayed to keep our relationship strong that we have gone this far.

In silence, I also prayed the things you ask.

Because we believe that God is with us in this relationship, I gave you all of my heart, and believe in the promise of your love. Seems no one can break us. Invincible as if believing that God was with us eversince from the beginning.

Can you still remember how the two of us has started? Quite inspiring that we worked and had gone a long way. How God made His plan to bring us together? Totally unbelievable but it seems you are forgetting those things.

Let me recall... We first met on December 17, 2005 during the first Systemwide Seminar Workshop on our University Paper. We never talked during that time. But when I first saw you, you had my sight whatever you do. From the lunch you ate your chicken joy, to the night that you gently place the nips to your lips, until the time I accidentally picked up your kit thinking it was mine. I didn't ask your number. I haven't talked to you even that time. But for some reason, we communicated each other. I don't know how. But I guess there was some kind of energy that brings us together.

It doesn't end there. I was thinking that it would be the first and the last time I could see you. But then, you came to my place for some spiritual activity from the church. It brought us back together, giving us the chance to meet and would know much better.

Seems everything was guided by something or someone. I never thought that at this point of our live we would gone this far. Perhaps, it was because we believe together. We dream together. And we pray together.

How do you pray? Didn't some notion crosses to your mind that somehow, what happened to us today are answers to what you asked for? You are tested if you could stand to what you prayed? Why is it always me who believes in every way we suppose we could? Next time around. Don't ask for things which you couldn't stand with... I wish to carry you all throughout our journey. But you let go of the chance. Just don't wake up one day, that everything is too late... Regrets are always done at the end... Think. ...a thousand times.